Kaden's Arrival & Life Since

Have you ever had a moment that time stood still?  An exact minute that you will never forget?  That has happened to me twice in my life.  The first happened at 10:55 pm on September 16, 2010 and the second happened just over two weeks ago at 7:03 pm on May 7^th, 2012.  These are the exact minutes that my children were born.  Now, there are other times I will never forget – milestones in my career; memories of places I’ve visited; special moments with even more special people, looking at my husband as we stood across the aisle from each other at our wedding, kneeling across the alter looking at that amazing man one year later as we were sealed together, the first time I met my big Nutt, etc.  However, the exact minutes of 10:55 and 7:03 are minutes I will never forget.  7:03 pm on May 7^th seems so very long ago – as if months have passed since that time and yet, at certain moments it seems as if it was just barely 7:03 pm on May 7^th.

May 7^th started off early as all the worries and concerns I could have preparing for my second child seemed to hit me like a tidal wave as I tried to sleep that night.  Fortunately, I had enough sense to remind myself I would not sleep through the night for quite some time after that night so I had better live it up errr sleep it up while I had the chance and sleep as though I were Sleeping Beauty.  As we prepared to go to the hospital and we dropped Kara off at her grandparents my heart ached leaving her.  Though I knew she was in the best of hands and would have an amazing day I still struggled leaving her, knowing the next time I saw her that her world like mine would be changed forever.  Fast forwarding to the hospital I had a plan I mean, I really had a plan and I made sure my husband, doctor, everyone knew my plan – I liked how Kara’s delivery went, it was slow, but I didn’t feel a thing not a single contraction thanks to the magic that is known as an epidural and I was going to repeat that experience.  I wanted “the juice” as soon as humanly possible it didn’t matter how long the labor was, I just didn’t want to feel a thing.  That was my plan and I was going to stick to it.  Then as any woman knows she can do I changed my mind.  I can’t remember specifically what triggered the change a comment was made, I think, and I am just stubborn enough that while I still wanted the epidural, I wanted to see how long I could go without it.  The decision boiled down to the fact I knew what the “easy” delivery experience was like and I wanted to experience feeling the delivery.  The pregnancy had been so different, I had experienced labor, I had felt contractions, I wanted to ride that train as long as I could.  And by golly, that’s what I did.  Thank heavens only a couple people (Brent & my mom) that love me deeply saw me at what was not my finest moment where I was at the least a big old witch.  I am proud though, I went without that epidural almost the full day, I waited until after my water was broken and the contractions were almost rolling one on top of the other where the side railing of the bed had become an extension of my hand as I continually gripped it so hard before I gave in and asked for the epidural.  It may sound strange, but I am thankful to have experienced the pain that can be contractions, if for no other reason, I want to be able to relate to my daughter in the many, MANY years from now when she experiences motherhood.

My mom, who had been in the room with us all day, came to tell me good luck, that she was proud and would see me soon as the time for Kaden’s arrival approached, she had tears in her eyes and if I hadn’t been focused on the pain and it wasn’t witchy stubborn Stephanie laying in that bed, I know I would have been in tears too.  It meant so much to me to have my mom there – loving, supporting, encouraging me as I went through what she had gone through thirty-something years previously bringing me into this world. With my mom leaving I saw my doctor, with the smile in his eyes approaching me all gowned up and the saint of a nurse who had been with me all day coming to aid me in the delivery of my child was such a beautiful vision. I had 100% trust in their expertise and would have done most anything they asked of me.  OH!  Also, before I forget – Brent stayed up at my side, right where I needed him and his hand (that he says I squeezed a lot harder than I remember). After way more pushing than the 3 little pushes Kara required at 7:03 p.m. Kaden Wayne Nuttall was born.  That breath-taking baby was immediately placed in my arms and everything that had happened over the past 12 hours just vanished.  My son, my beautiful, stubborn, going to enter this world when he was ready not when I wanted him here son was finally in my arms.  And he was/is perfect!!!  Kaden Wayne Nuttall was born on May 7, 2012 at 7:03 pm weighing 8 lbs. 7.8 oz. and measuring 21.5” in length.

Prior to his arrival my dad had said that Kaden was taking his time coming to earth because he had so many people that loved him in heaven that were giving him last minute advice and didn’t want to see him go.  I truly have a testimony that there is truth in that, that his Great-Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, and such weren’t ready for him to leave.  I am thankful though, that my prayers were heard and Kaden is now here with us, he may not have been ready to come to earth, but I thought I was ready for him to be here.

 After Kaden arrived, we (my mom, Brent, and I) held him, and he was bathed, Brent’s dad, JD, and Kara came to meet the newest Nutt.  While they were there I witnessed what I can only describe as Christ like love as Kara met Kaden for the first time.  To back up slightly, when they arrived Kara eyed Kaden, trying to take in what was going on, as she got to get near him, I truly saw the love of Christ when she hugged and kissed him.  All the worries of the world evaporated into thin air as I saw the love she radiated for her little brother.  I knew then, no matter what, everything would be all right.

Fast forwarding to our escape from the hospital, where pretty much the days have sandwiched into a blur of one long day with a few naps strategically placed when the sun seemed to be gone.  The week Kaden came home, my mom stayed to help out – THANK HEAVENS!!!  She was an angel doing everything from preparing meals, vacuuming the floor, bathing Kara, singing to her, changing Kaden’s icky diapers, you name it, if I needed help with it she was there to help out.   Other than that we’ve been adjusting to the life of being a Nutt House Family of Four.   I’m learning slooooowly how to mother two children.  So far, this entails someone not bathed/showered until lunch time, Brent being an angel as we have a laundry folding party each night, and me learning to accept that just one room will be cleaned a day with the spot on the wall, lasting three to four days longer than I’d like it to, etc.  My mind feels as though Kaden has been home for six weeks at least.  My mind is ready to go walking each morning, to keep the house clean, play with or read to Kara while Kaden naps and in turn, cuddling with or singing to Kaden while Kara naps.  My mind is ready to prepare meals that are ready when Brent comes home from work.  My mind is ready…  Now, my body, my children, my life is not to that point and as OCD as I can be, I’m honestly okay with it.  There are a few things I want to get better at (showering before noon is high on that list), but enjoying the moments of Kara saying mommy as she needs me, Kara trying to comfort Kaden while he cries, Kaden starting to look around at the world as I try to be one of the first thing he sees each time,  the quiet moments early in the morning where just Brent and I are awake but no one is yet moving – these are the moments that mean WAY more than the dirty spot on the wall or the laundry waiting to be dried and folded for today.

The Nutt House is expanding and while we are a chaotic Nutt House, we are a Nutt House filled with love and happiness and I would not change this for the world!